


Gut Feeling

by OhMyLeg



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Video Game 2018), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Meetings, First Time, Fluff, I'm terrible, M/M, Peter is 23, Rating May Change, summary may change because its shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 03:42:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20221216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMyLeg/pseuds/OhMyLeg
Summary: Deadpool was in New York because he was hired to get rid of Spider-Man, not to make an unlikely friendship with a boy named Peter Parker.





	Gut Feeling

It was so good to be back.

Deadpool had been out of the country for almost two weeks, concluding a difficult contract that no one else could fulfill, but for him it was not _that_ challenging - yeah, he would have died without the healing factor, but he killed the guy and that's what matters. He even had fun cutting heads and smashing limbs, but it was really good to come back. 

He went straight to the bar Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Children, slamming the door open and making everyone turn to look at him in confusion, some with disgust and some with admiration. It was silent for a solid 2 seconds before everyone started talking again, he was proud of these 2 seconds.

Wade knew really well the stench of the bar - it was unforgettable, one of the voices added - but surely the smell of urine had gotten worse in the short time he had been gone. He lifted the mask to his nose and took a random guy's drink from his hand, swallowing everything at once and ignoring the dudes protests. The man tried to punch him after Wade showed him his middle finger, but Wade caught his hand and broke it.

The bar roared in ecstasy while the man cried. It was always so boring and everyone liked a little bit of action.

"Wade!" Weasel called excitedly as soon as he saw the mercenary. Deadpool looked behind himself with a raised eyebrow to see if he was talking to someone else before turning his attention to his friend, raising a hand to his heart as if thrilled.

"You missed me that much?" He asked melodically and Weasel rolled his eyes "A drink on the house would be a good way to..."

"No way".

"Seriously, Weasel!" Deadpool spoke with exaggerated indignation "I go out and risk my neck, buy you goodies and you don't even give me a free drink? I'm starting to think this relationship is one-sided."

"Shut up," Weasel said and then grinned, handing him a golden card with a phone number, "good news."

"The fuck is this?" He took the card, flipping and looking at it from every possible angle, but it was the same as every other card he'd ever received.

"Obviously a contract."

"I know,_ my love_, but I told you before I came back that I wasn't going to take another contract anytime soon" Wade looked around "Give that shit to the bearded bitch over there" He winked at the guy he had just broken the hand "I just got back from Lithuania, Weasel... I just want to eat, sleep, maybe have sex with a blind prostitute if I'm lucky... ".

"I can't" Weasel took the card back "The guy specifically asked for you, he liked your... perfect resume or something" He smiled again "It's really good shit" Wade looked thoughtful.

"How many zeros in my account are we talking about?".

"Six," Weasel replied with satisfaction, offering the card again. Deadpool stared at him for a moment before grunting in annoyance.

"Fucking shit" He swore, taking the card and going straight to the phone "You will owe me that free drink, Weasel" Wade said as he dialed the number "And I want the good shit! None of that watery crap that you serve people" Weasel showed him the middle finger.

Wade was about to say something to his friend but someone answered the phone first.

"Hello, gentleman, I heard you wanted to talk to me exclusively and, look, I'm on a tight schedule, so it's better be worth it," he said, leaning against the wall and laughing at Weasel's face, who stared at him as if he had thrown the contract away.

"Are you Deadpool?" The person on the other end asked.

"No, I'm the Easter bunny" He replied sarcastically "Who do you think I am?".

"I have a contract for you. _I_ heard you never fail, is that true?".

"Yes, I'm the best in my linework, so...-"

"Three million" The man interrupted him, Wade could feel the hatred emanating from him... whoever messed with this guy had pissed him off. "You get paid when you complete the job."

"Perfect," he replied. "Who is my target?".

"Spider-Man".

"Seriously?" It sounded like a joke.

"Yes," the man said and Wade shrugged.

"Fine".

"You have three weeks!" He roared on the other end of the line before hanging up the phone. After a moment, Wade approached the bartender again.

"What a rude asshole!" He complained and Weasel snorted.

"Every rich man is rude and asshole," Weasel replied and stared at him for a moment. Wade knew he was curious, but waited for him to ask just to annoy him, "So who's the big target?".

"Spider-man" Deadpool replied and his friend laughed until he realized Wade wasn't laughing.

"Oh, you're serious?".

"Yep".

"And you'll go?".

"Yep".

"I thought you liked the spider-dude," Weasel said and the mercenary sighed.

"The guy is obviously inspired by me." He pointed to his own uniform. "And he has a wonderful ass squeezed in that spandex. It'll be sad to have to kill the guy, but money is money."

"Well... good trip to New York then" Weasel said and they both drank.

Peter walked into his apartment through the window, stretching and staring at his little shitty apartment - he had never missed it so much, but after the last few weeks, he just realized how much he loved the place - throwing himself lazily on his couch after another long day as Spidey.

He hadn't cleaned the place in a while, there was an eviction notice on the floor and his clothes were thrown all over the place, but in his defense, he had not stopped at his apartment except for sleep - and he was too tired to do something right now.

He took off his mask and pulled out his cell phone, taking a look at what the news were saying, not being surprised when he saw that the news of the moment was the arrest of more Hammerhead goons - who had unfortunately managed to escape. He sighed, he was very tired, but was pleased to finally have rid New York of at least some of the criminals... he might even catch the mobster another day.

The last few weeks could be summed up by stalking and arresting the mobster's henchmen in an attempt to catch him.

Peter got up and decided to look at the pictures he'd taken that day, feeling proud to see that the vast majority of the fight photos were good, and he even got two with Hammerhead before he was knocked out and lost sight of him. He just hoped Jonah would pay what he promised this time, as he paid half for the previous photos because he "didn't like the angle".

He sighed once more before lying back on the couch, having no idea Hammerhead was angry enough to hire a mercenary.

Two days later, Deadpool was in New York on business, but he sure could fit a little visit to the Times Square and the Avengers Tower on his list. He was walking the streets and the amount of people who stopped him to warn him that his spider-man costume was all wrong made him slightly annoyed, but if he ever shouted at people in the street it was only a couple of times and they deserved it.

_"Spider-man uses two swords?! you blind retard!"_ it was a slip, just like _"Do you see a fucking spider in my uniform, damn it?!",_ as the third person approached, he simply pointed his gun at them and problem solved.

Deadpool headed for a coffee shop. He was already very stressed and had plenty of time to accomplish his mission, so he was in no hurry, he placed his order and sat with his feet on the empty chair across from him, slurping his strawberry milkshake noisily as he read about his target in files, newspapers and whatever he could find.

Spidey didn't seem to be much adored by the media, because the daily bugle had pretty hateful stories about the hero - but the people certainly seemed to love him. He even laughed at some things written. J. Jonah Jamerson was a great comedian - he _hoped_ he was a comedian, because it would be kinda depressing if these stories were serious, and dammit, they had wonderful pictures of spidey and his nice ass. Definitely fapping material.

"Excuse me, sir, could you take your feet off the chair?" The attendant asked and Wade didn't even look at the boy, simply pointed his gun until he went away, slurping his milkshake again in peace.

Still reading the paper, he noticed some important information: Jonah had pictures of the hero, maybe he knew where he was most of the time... _what did the suckers call it... patrolling! yeah, maybe he knew where he patrolled... is that a fucking word? Weird._

He sighed again. Maybe he could ask the avengers… nah, the guy wasn't part of the team, at least not from what he saw on television every once in a while -_ not that you paid close attention, always watching everyone's ass. _The voice had a point.

He looked at the pictures again.

"By Peter Parker" He read aloud "Maybe he knows Spidey?"

_Perhaps. At best, we traumatize the dude._

**But we are used to traumatizing people.**

"Shut the fuck up" He said at the voices and they cursed him after that, many people turned to stare at him with frightened glances, but he didn't even notice them "I'll talk to him and at best he will tell me where to find Spidey... or he'll end up traumatized... well, fuck it".

Wade got up, paid his milkshake to the attendant - who trembled as he approached - and walked out, still slurping, walking the streets of New York without really worrying about a specific path, until he saw a blue and red figure at the top of the buildings. 

_Are we going after him?_ He paused, thinking about it, but spidey was sooo high up...

"Nah, I'm not going to risk my milkshake," he said lazily and headed for his own hotel.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the bad english and everything else :x


End file.
